Shoe Addict Thriving: "Let It Go"

Shannon:

12/31/2012

"Have you ever looked at a tarted up, wrinkly old lady in Juniors glittery pink tank top, skinny jeans, and a pair of heels, her over-bleached hair stiffly framing a botoxed face, and thought to yourself, "Just let it go already!"? Well, sometimes when it comes to hobbies and craft projects-- specifically your own-- you are just as blissfully unaware as that old lady.

Oops... that's not an old lady... other stuff still applies. 

(Photo credit: www.vh1.com) 

It is really hard to let projects go. Every time you pass that half finished thing you think, "I am going to finish that...can't throw that away!" Well, you need to let it go. Let that bad boy get into the figurative age appropriate shapeless track suit and let it be comfortable in its sunset years.
Go through your supplies and projects and organize them into something resembling the following piles:

This will be divided up into multiple postings...one per type of pile

1) Haven't used in over 2 years.
2) Less than 25% complete.

3) 50 % done.
4) Almost complete - just some finish work
5) Still in the planning stage
For pile #1: Any craft that you haven't participated in for 2 years needs have some serious thought given towards it leaving your supply pile. Ask yourself (and be honestand realistic) Am I going to use this stuff anymore? If the answer is no - and it should be no if you haven't used something in over 2 years.. find someone to give it to or harvest it for parts.
P.S. If your answer was yes you can apply to be on the show hoarders here.

For example: I have a glaring pile of wrinkly old lady cleavage in the form of a paper making supplies, a pile of denim, and yards and yards of fringe. I haven't used the paper making stuff since before I graduated high school (over ten years ago). The denim was a DIY project when turning a pair of jeans into a cute funky skirt was popular - seams were split and then promptly shoved in a corner (at least 7 years ago). And the yards of fringe I ordered for a great deal on eBay and when it came instead of the lovely silvery blue in the picture it was more of a garish royal blue. (about 5 years ago)

Here's how I dealt with the items. The pile of denim was irredeemable. The denim was stained, bleached out. ripped apart, and let's face it the project is never going to happen. I have long gone all establishment on my former inner-hippie. I have no reason or inclination to dress in a multi-denim DIY skirt. So I relegated these particular items into the rubbish bin and called it a day.

The fringe was harder to let go of. While to most it probably would look like I murdered cousin it and hid him in the bottom shelf of my craft room. I have an unnatural affinity towards fringe and just seeing that perfectly great pile of it that I had forgotten I even had brought back urges of holding on. "I could use this for something" I thought to myself. And then I remembered why I was doing this to free up space in my room of shame. So before I could hang on I put it on free cycle. It isn't bad quality and I had managed to bleach it out to a pleasing bronze-beige color. If someone else has something they can legitimately use it for then it shouldn't go to waste.

Finally I got to my paper making supplies. I remembered fondly that I loved making paper. I would use my mother's blender to make pulp....add in rose petals and lavender to sent the pages. I used to make it all the time for homemade cards and little love notes. I thought I should use this again. (No one ever said letting go was easy!) Then I remembered that the screens were broken years ago and all I had left of the stuff was what was in this box - bits of cut up construction paper, lavender so old it had no smell any more, and a disreputable moldy looking sponge. The top of the box was pretty damaged but the base was good. The stuff and lid joined the denim and I re purposed the base of the box to as a drawer organizer to hold my paints.

So for stuff you haven't used in over two years try to ask yourself the hard questions:
Do I need it?
Am I going to actually use this?
Is it usable?
Can someone else use it? ....and....
Are there things I can use in hobbies I actually still participate in?"

Shoe Addict Thriving: New Focus -- New Blog

Shannon:

12/30/2010

"To see my history visit...
www.shoeaddictsurviving.wordpress.com

I may occasionally post some Melanoma related things on this blog, but mostly I will be showing my many projects I get myself involved in. I am one of those people that loves to get into everything. And I do mean everything... I have piles of half finished projects lying all around the house. I am constantly signing up for lessons of some sort and I have a "room of shame" full of supplies for crafts some of which I haven't actually done in years.

I have learned a whole lot of lessons of the years of getting into  every craft known to mankind a bunch of different hobbies. I plan to share the projects, tips and tricks to doing them, and what I have learned about being a hardcore crafter. "

It Was A Very Good Year...

Susan: 

Shannon continued to amaze our family with her strength, faith, and sheer will to live. In December of 2010, Shannon changed the focus of her blog, www.shoeaddictsurviving.wordpress.com, to shoeaddictthriving.blogspot.com. Everything about Shannon and her attitude was about thriving.

 

During this time period Shannon took two cake decorating classes, shopped for and refurbished antiques, painted rooms in her house, and created a space for Ben that she called his "Man Cave". Shannon bought new furniture for several rooms in her house. She participated in friends' birthday parties, weddings, and lived life as if there was a tomorrow. During this time she also taught a Discipleship Class on Sunday mornings with her husband Ben at our church. To say I was proud of her would be a gross understatement. I loved watching my girl thrive. 

 

There of course were times that Shannon would have to be taken out to the car to sit, or sit on the store floor for a few minutes to compose herself. But she didn’t let her cancer stop her. She continued to work at the Pentagon, enduring a hard commute for even a healthy person. 

This was a year in my memory that I draw so much strength from. I like to think about my determined and strong girl. Her new focus blog, started on December 30, 2010 and stopped with her last blog post on February 23, 2011. It was on February 28th that Shannon got the shocking news that her cancer had returned and spread with 5 new tumors. Shannon did not blog anymore after this but I do have her journal where she documents some of what she felt and writes in her unique style about the way the medical world looks at you when bad news is being delivered. 

For the next bit of time I am going to feature posts from Shannon’s blog from the time she felt she was thriving. You will be nothing short of entertained. Shannon had a gift for writing and my thought is that it should be included in this blog as well.

Strength in Weakness, Part 5

Susan:


My last blog post, Strength in Weakness Part 4, spoke about a very low time in my life in dealing with Shannon’s cancer and her prognosis. However for my dear Shannon this was not a low time. Shannon was actually entering into the best year she would have with her cancer, feeling better, stronger and definitely up to more adventures.

During this time, Shannon and a few of her friends decided they would start a monthly girl’s night. I was not included in the girl nights-but was often entertained by Shannon the next day with stories of what they did. I am sure I got the censored version.

The girls would take turns hosting the nights at one or the other’s homes and their husbands would be told to scoot or make themselves scarce. From what I was told most of the husbands gladly left the young woman on their own.

Some of the stories I remember hearing were about the laughter that would set in as they met to eat and share time with each other. Shannon would say that even into the wee hours of the morning a few of the girls would hang tight and would end up doing nothing more than laughing over the silliest of things. I imagine now what a great rest of mind this must have been for Shannon and how laughter made her heart feel lighter.

I know one friend would always bring sushi. This was one of Shannon’s favorite things- right up there with- Mountain Dew and Carlson’s donuts (much to my chagrin!) Shannon would tell me over and over how I just needed to try this great Sushi. How she knew I would love it. Well I never did try the Sushi and to be honest this is not something I am regretting today.

I know these young women would have small birthday and Christmas exchanges. Shannon would often handcraft some new project to give as a gift to these dear friends.

I am fairly certain that these monthly get together’s continued right through the remainder of her life. Sometimes they would have to come to her and I am sure toward the end Shannon might have cancelled. But I know this- the day of Shannon’s passing, one of these dear girls lay on her bed and scratched her head and sang to her. She sang, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus". The friend later told me that she was not sure if Shannon was singing with her or praying but even as life was about to ebb from her precious body she was with one of these faithful friends.

To be the friend of a dying person is in itself strength in weakness, both for Shannon and for her friends. I think back to these stories and it is with a fond and happy memory to think of Shannon laughing till all hours of the night with the young women God put in her life for that precise time.

Strength in Weakness, Part 4

Susan:

This entry is a part of the blog where you may question what I say. You may ask, "Was Shannon in her right mind to make such a decision?" You may ask, "Why didn’t her husband step in and force the surgery on her?", "Why didn’t her mother vocalize what she felt and scream from the mountains, 'Have the surgery, Shannon! Have the surgery!'?"

This much I do know: our adult children will do as they want, not what we want. I lived this, I know.

It was January 2010; Shannon had finished 6 cycles of her clinical trial treatments. She was starting cycle 7 when she felt a small lump in the spot where the melanoma had been removed from her breast. She and her physician could not be certain that it was not breast fiber, scar tissue or something else for that matter. No conclusive results would be known medically without surgery. If Shannon’s cancer was back again, then for her it would mean going all the way back to Cycle 1 and starting again with 6 more months of the dreaded and sickening stomach shots of IL2.

Before Shannon and Ben told her father and me about the lump, they prayed. Shannon and Ben prayed until they felt they had direction and peace with their decision. Shannon told her father who in turn told me. No one knows about this but her immediate family. I am not sure she told anyone about this, ever. Shannon decided that she felt peace and should not have any surgery. Ben supported her decision. So when Sean told me that is how I was told. A decision was already made. Sean also felt that Shannon made the right decision. Christopher and I both had different feelings about this lump. I was happy and felt great joy that my daughter would trust the Lord with her body. She was exercising powerful faith. However, I felt Shannon should have the lump removed surgically. I felt that this was the only true way to know what it was and then deal with it accordingly. I felt that Shannon was in a fight for her life. I told Shannon one time-- only one time-- that I thought she should have surgery. She shut me down and told me to stop being negative. Shannon said what she needed was positive support. So that is what she got from me. But as hard as I tried I could not shake that uneasy feeling of the possibility of cancer being left to do its deadly work. Throughout the rest of Shannon’s battle that lump would come and go. In the end this is where the spreading began and took off like a wild fire. I never felt sicker at heart that I had been right. I didn’t want to be right.

I have shared these feelings with you for a testimony of what real strength in weakness is all about. What a gift my daughter received that she was able to have so much faith in her decision. For me? Well, for me my feelings are best left at the feet of a loving God, who loves me and will help me to emerge from the ashes I find myself in. I will emerge from the ashes a stronger woman, a more tender woman, who has suffered and learned a lesson that could only be taught by living it.

I know as a reader of my blog posts this one may seem so different to you. But it is an important entry. Shannon was strong in faith. Strong in love, strong really in everything she did. She was a truly amazing person who I respected and admired. She held fast to the promise she felt she had gotten from her Saviour. Was she right? Was she wrong? I don’t know. Is there a right? Is there a wrong? I don’t know. This I do know: Shannon teaches us all by how she lived and how she believed until she had no more breath.

Mexico in Shannon's Words (Part 2)

Shannon: 

January 5, 2011

At the airport

I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Mexico and successfully achieved my goal of getting absolutely not one bit more of color than I came with. The day before we left it was a snow blizzard in Maryland. We got to enjoy a bit of the winter white and then it was off to the airport to make our way down south and to the warmth of Mexico. We were supposed to leave at 10:30am and ended up flying sometime around 2:00pm. Not too bad all things considered.

It was the first time that I have flown since having my ancillary lymph node dissection. I followed precautions and put on my compression sleeve and gauntlet about an hour and a half before the flight. When I arrived in Mexico I noticed that my fingers looked very swollen. I was worried that the flying had caused me to get some swelling. However, the entire flight and after it I felt like the gauntlet piece was very uncomfortable. After about 45 minutes after landing I decided to take off just the gauntlet. After about 10 minutes I noticed that the swelling in my fingers was gone. When we arrived at the hotel 2 hours later I took off the compression sleeve and did not notice any swelling in my arm or hand.

Our trip was so nice and relaxing. I had just finished my sixth cycle of treatment and needed a nice relaxing time with my husband to just breathe, have some adventure, and enjoy life.

The first couple of days we were there we really just ate, read, sat on the beach, and went for walks together. We enjoyed this time very much. We especially enjoyed the second day when the sun came out nice and bright and all the iguanas came out of hiding to sun themselves.

Unlike the iguanas, I am not allowed to bask in the sun unfettered and unprotected. I took extra precautions to protect myself from the sun. I coated myself with Fallen’s COTZ sunblock. This is a very nice product. I only use it on my face because I can’t use regular or even standard sensitive skin sunblock on my face. This is the only thing that doesn’t irritate my eyes. I end up using very little so it is worth the price. For the rest of me I used a 70 spf waterproof sunblock. I also re-applied my sunblock not only according to the directions on the bottle, but also every time I swam and then dried off. I also wore a hat and sat under umbrellas at the pool or beach and also wore a coverup.

On the day we went to Chichen-Itza I decided that I did not need my compression sleeve and gauntlet. We did a whole lot of walking! I loaded up on the sunblock like our days on the beach and also wore a hat. During some of the tour guide’s talks the group was standing directly in the sun. I chose to forgo part of these learning experiences and stand in the shade on my own. It was incredibly fascinating and I was able to hear enough during the talks in the shady parts of the area that I did not feel my experience was in any way incomplete.

On Christmas Eve day we went to swim with the dolphins. I did wear my compression sleeve, but not my gauntlet because of it bothering my hand so much when I was flying. Now, salt and oil breaks down the special weave of fibers that the compression garments are made of. What I did was ask the place where I get my compression garments from what to do while swimming in salt water. I wore my old compression sleeve and immediately cleaned it when I got back from swimming with the dolphins.



That night at dinner I ate some thing that I was allergic to. I broke out in hives all over both arms, neck, and legs. I chose not to see a medic because my airways were not in any way restricted and I was having no trouble breathing. I had brought Benadryl with me and chose to take that as recommended. The hives lasted long after our vacation had ended. They were pretty much gone about a week after they popped up.

Our last two days were spent in lazy enjoyment. Ben played golf, we went shopping in Playa Del Carmen, (where I found a Starbucks!), and I got a hot stone massage and pedi-cure at the hotel spa. Now, one of the precautions one should take to prevent lymphedema is to avoid massages on that area. I simply told the spa that I could not be massaged on my right arm, shoulder, and the surrounding area of my arm. It was not a problem and I got to enjoy the perfect relaxing day.


I suppose now it is back to reality and New Year’s resolutions. I don’t usually make any, but I think I am going to this year…even if they will start a month late.

Last picture we took together in Mexico

Mexico in Shannon's Words

Shannon:

December 19, 2009

So, I am finishing up packing and alternately checking Air Tran’s website for our flight status tomorrow. Still on-time every time we check. I really don’t like cold weather, but even I have to admire such a beautiful white winter wonderland.

When I first heard that we were expecting this kind of weather I panicked! I immediately called Apple vacations and when I found out that the worst-case scenario was us leaving on Monday morning I breathed easy and embarked on packing.

I am looking forward to being in Mexico, but I am so glad that right before I am leaving to enjoy nice sunny weather, zip-lining over the jungle, and swimming with the dolphins I am getting an opportunity to enjoy the only part of winter I like-- snow!

It was a nice day and felt reminiscent to my childhood. What a lovely way to spend the day. The started with my brother cooking everyone breakfast – scrambled eggs, sausage links for Ben and Fer, and veggie sausage patties for me. A nice hot Chai Tea Latte and I felt ready to stay inside and enjoy my day. I leisurely packed my suitcase, watched the snow come down, read, and watched TV with my husband.

A roll of cookies, round of Boursin cheese, and some Starbucks Java Chip ice cream later…I am feeling fat, lazy, and happy. The best part of the day…being completely unfashionable and not changing out of my pajamas.